Sierra Leone News & Information

State House | Press Union | Lumley Beach | AllAfrica | SL-Web

  Giving Knowledge to the People
welcome to sierra leone's premier news source
Last Updated: May 30th, 2012 - 18:21:19 
Front Page 
 Breaking News
 Local News
 Photo News
 Video News
 Moiie's Column
 Afsatu Kabba
 Role Models
 Awareness Lady
 Common Man
 Special Messages
 Legal Matters

Published online by
Sylvia Blyden Dot Com

17 Garrison Street,
Sierra Leone.
Tel: +232-77-772001
Tel: +232-88-321000
Tel: +232-76-350077
Tel: +232-30-321001


Ariogbo Covers U.K. Birthday Bash
May 30, 2012, 17:06
Email this article
 Printer friendly page

Kanja Sesay all in smiles as Sama Banyas daughter, Nancy throws herself on Maada Bio in London...SEE PART ONE INSIDE THIS EDITION
My people come oh, dombolo don fordom nar Lion Mountain. Did you witness yesterdays inquest in the Ariogbo Kingdom? Some people are answering YES, whilst others reply in the negative. Well for those of you who never witnessed yesterdays hearing, I will whet your appetite a little. The gods asked me yesterday to congosa to Lion Mountain humans that the Inquest Flagbearer of the Serious Lions Prefer Palaver (SLPP), Madam Below, spent his recent birthday with his long-time human girlfriend, Mercy Banja; dont mind my accent.

Following and even prior to my revelation, borku borku things have happened. Phones in the Ariogbo Kingdom keep ringing and Facebook drama intensifying.

While some of the phone calls received and recorded by Judge Gaddafi in relation to yesterdays wizard hunt were very mature, others were full of mammy cusses. I will not go into the details of how many mammy cusses Judge Gaddafi received yesterday, because Ariogbos dont react to mammy cusses. We are decent and well brought-up devils that will never allow humans to drag us to low levels.

For those who tried to convince the gods not to publish the sweet birthday story, it was rather too late. If we were not Ariogbos, we would have succumbed to the cover-up attempts. Unfortunately for the SLPP humans who tried to intervene, and fortunately for the people of the Lion Mountain, who rely on this Ariogbo for credible information, the Ariogbos Elders Council had resolved to put the UK birthday news out.

The news hit the Lion Mountain and worldwide news stands with a bang. As if to endorse the extra-marital affair of the SLPP Flagbearer, Mercy Banja and her in-laws stormed the social media to lego borku comments to force people that were skeptical over the Ariogbos revelation, that what the Ariogbos published was the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth.

Lion Mountain humans, do you also know that Mercy Banja is now being widely referred to as First Lady in Waiting? Oh yes! This simply means that the extra-marital affair between her and Madam Below is not a secret anymore, especially within certain SLPP circles.

Mercy Banja is also telling the world that she is the sister-in-law to a certain Claire Below, who is supposedly the sister of Madam Below. Dem people ya nor dae hide again sef.

While Francis Below is busy telling the world that she is the marrade woman of Madam Below, Mercy Banja is also claiming ownership of the same Christian man. Wonders never end in this low place called Lion Mountain. In fact sef, Francis Below is not only referring to Madam Below as her legally wedded husband, she is further clarifying her status of being a Former First Lady and the First Lady in Waiting.

Wow! So who becomes the First Lady if Madam Below assumes the presidency? This is a serious question that must be answered now oh! We will not want a situation wherein women would be publicly fighting each other and legoing bad bad mammy cusses against each other in the name of fighting for the position of First Lady.

Wuna nor fet yet oh! At least, only two names have surfaced so far, in this episode, for the position of First Lady if Madam Below wins the forthcoming presidential election. This Ariogbo knows for sure that at least six more names, including Mamawuta and Zainish, the renowned Cocaine Trafficker, will come up as we draw closer to the election.

And if what one of my ancestors told me is anything to go by, Lion Mountain citizens should expect to hear at most thirty two names of people claiming ownership of the First Lady position in a Madam Below Presidency, especially so when Below is a son of a Paramount Chief that got married to up to thirty two wives?

But these First Lady contestants should not be allowed to fight oh! And the only thing that can save this public fight is an election. Immediately after an election announcing Madam Below as the winner, Lion Mountain should immediately announce the holding of an election to elect the First Lady. Campaign for that position should be declared open without further delay. After that, the First Lady contestants will go to the polls. Not all Lion Mountain citizens would be qualified to vote in this kind of election oh, because it is not everybodys business. It will strictly be an SLPP business. And SLPP business means One Mende, One Temne. No other tribes and non-members of the SLPP will participate in this election because it is going to be strictly SLPP business. All the same, all indigenes of Kailahun would be allowed to vote, because of obvious reasons.

Who is going to be the Chief Electoral Commissioner of such a sensitive election? This question would be difficult for humans to answer, but nothing is difficult for Ariogbos. We will suggest that an SLPP octogenarian be the Judge in this election. This is because humans might not have the patience to wait until such votes are counted and announced. They will prefer an elderly person that will not even bother to count prior to announcing the result.

Hmm!!! Wetin nar election; look am pack! Wetin nar rogue; look am pack!

Nobody would be allowed to petition the results with the exception of SLPPs Kanja Man. This is because it is only Kanja Man that knows who is the best candidate for the heart of Madam Below. In other words, nar Kanja sabi Madam Below e sweet heart hahahaha!

If this is a movie, it will be a blockbuster. Lion Mountain get tin dem ya!

And look at the other drama that unfolded in the social media yesterday oh! Mercy Banyas Facebook page started to wink-yai when her Facebook conversation with her in-laws was given wide publicity. It was too late for Mercy to cover-up. But wait oh! She nearly scored a goal against this Ariogbo. Those Facebook comments were supposed to serve as part of my sticks behind door in case a dog runs mad. Hahahahumans will never understand that expression. But humans are not as smart as Ariogbos. We therefore played smart by invoking a ritual to convince Mercy to restore her Facebook page. The wish of the Ariogbos is the command of Humans. The page was restored and the Ariogbo extracted the more sticks beyen doh mot. Mercy, we are well equipped now; you can even delete your entire Facebook page Hahaha!!! Facebook develops epilepsy.what a drama.

© Copyright by Awareness Times Newspaper in Freetown, Sierra Leone.

Top of Page

Latest Headlines
Sierra Leone Police Officers Flying High at the United Nations - Oliver Somasa & Chris Charley Get Honoured in New York
Awareness Times News Briefs from Sierra Leone - May 31th 2012
In Sierra Leone, Carmen Timis meets street kids in Makeni
Bad Journalists, the President & Judiciary
Prof. Kelfala Kallon, SLPP & the Judiciary
Sheer Hypocrisy
Sama Banya wants Awareness Times to call Tom Nyuma a Buffoon
Too Smart to be Distracted - Sorry Guys but it is Squirrel Question Time
Sierra Leone Independent Journalists are Safely and Proudly Back in Freetown from Peaceful Jendema
Sierra Leone President Called to Conscience on 20 years old Crime.
Ariogbo Covers U.K. Birthday Bash
Jonathan Leigh; Dont Misunderstand My Silence
Violence & Disenfranchisement as 871 Voted out of 6,184 Registered in Sierra Leone's Bye Elections
Africa Confidential on Sierra Leone - Maada Bio Overthrew Strasser and Marketwomen Chased Bio from Power (16 Years Ago)
Libel against the Blydens: Philip Neville Replies
Charles Taylor, Sierra Leone Scapegoat has been sentenced: Let's learn the Truth now - why we killed & so viciously harmed ourselves!
Sierra Leone Rantings Dont Survive; Only Truth Does
A Prologue to Part 2 of Charles Taylor: Sierra Leones Scapegoat
Watch Sierra Leone Television Live on TV-Africa for 5 Euros/monthly
In Sierra Leone, Emmerson Commends Tejan Kabbah
No articles available.
No articles available.
Supreme Court Slams SLPP For Laziness & Indecisiveness in SLPP vs. Christiana Thorpe
BBC Media Action seeks to strengthen production team in Sierra Leone (Job Opportunities)
Sierra Leonean Woman Dies at the Age of 105 Years
Marketing & Media - The Re-Branding of Sierra Leone
Office of the President's Chief of Staff seeks Reconciler for EITI Report
U wan buy...? U wan sell...? - Sierra Leones first Sales/Ads website launched
Simple Mathematical Analysis in Sierra Leone Journalism Landscape
Letter to David Tam Baryoh from Silly Little Asma James
Sierra Leone's Ariogbo says:- Papa, Do Ya, Lef Da Pikin!

Copyright © 2005 - 2010, Awareness Times Sierra Leone; All Rights Reserved.
Hosted & Designed by West Africa Dot Net