Come one come all my people; the Mystery Man has got some important announcements to make today. I have a story that happened one thousand years ago in the Mystery Village that never existed in real life. I was reminded about this story when I recently witnessed actions of some children against their political head. But since I have no business to comment on whatever is happening in Sierra Leone, as a result of my citizenship, I will rather just tell you about what happened in the non-existent mystery village at a time when all of us currently on earth were not yet born.
Once upon a time in the mystery village, there was a minister known as Silver Stone aka Smartest. Silver was the political head of living and nonliving children in the mystery village. The relationship between minister Silver and the children remained cordial until other politicians that just hate her decided to pollute the minds of the children to wage a war of calumny against their minister. Well, the detractors of Silver only succeeded in planting hatred against the minister in the minds of the nonliving children, while the living children solidly stood by their minister.
But let me first tell you why minister was so hated by a few mystery citizens although they never developed the gut to face her with their hatred for the rest of their sorry lives. Instead they will go to the desperation of using 'innocent' children against the minister for their selfish desires. But that minister also has her own issues. Why would she decide to be an angel is an environment that is not angel-friendly? Has she even seen angels and devils cohabiting? Was it fair for the angel she was playing to head corrupt demons? So you don't understand the point am making huh! I will not blame you if you cannot comprehend wise words for the mystery man because my submissions are as mysterious as the name of the non-existent kingdom I hailed from - The Mystery Village.
Let me however try to break this down for human understanding. Minister Silver found herself heading a mystery that had distinction in corruption. She was appointed as minister in a ministry that was being used to finance personal pockets, political activities and even anti-cultural activities at the expense of social harmony, progress, children, women, religion, culture, and even the good name of the President of the Mystery Village - President Austerity.
Prior to the appointment of minister Silver, everybody working at that ministry was a signatory to the ministry's account and other valuable documents seeking international and local approval. That was how endemic corruption was at that ministry before the arrival of Silver. Even the malaria survival fund was not spared - they chopped.
On her arrival, she was shocked to learn that this was the status quo at the ministry she was now heading.
She then decided to inject sanity into the system by closing all unauthorised avenues for funds. Whether the funds are coming into the ministry or going out, the minister insisted that she must sign or at least see with her four eyes. That automatically marks the end of some one thousand 'mammy cokers' and 'yuki yuki' deals across the Mystery Village. What a nice way to multiply in the twinkle of an eye your numbers of enemies. In fact, her next target was to get rid of the chief corrupt officer in the ministry who was caught red handed transferring ministry's fund into his pocket.
Now the jungle against the minister was getting stronger and stronger. Then comes her deputy minister who would rather associate with the thieves than the minister she was supposed to support. Well, why would you be surprised when she has not only received some huge amounts already, but was on the verge of becoming rich for life, if she ensures an anti-castration policy in the ministry. The minister saw through this wicked venture of her deputy and insisted that castration of the male organ should continue as long as the subject approves the move. The minister insisted that an anti-castration policy will bring disunity and war in the mystery village. Now the jungle is fully armed to wage the first world war against the minister in the ministry. A campaign dubbed 'Silver must go' was launched and it was headed by the deputy minister and the wife of a very senior if not the most senior statesman in the country.
The first missile launched by the junglers was a media war. Unfortunately however, that was the weapon that minister Silver is most trained to use. She can even render it useless in the wink of an eye if it is launched on her. So in no time, the media campaign of calumny weapon crashed in front of the ugly faces of the launchers.
At this juncture, it was now time to go underground and re-strategize for an all out war with the minister.
The first option at this point was to use the malaria survivors against the minister. But even before that option was activated, the minister had already reached out to these survivors and let them understand what was going on. No wonder she was being described as the smartest, even by her enemies.
It was now time for the bigger bomb to be dropped - let's use the children against her and there is no way she can get out of that trap. They all laughed and went home that day thinking that the final straw to break the minister's back was here.
They wickedly started polluting the minds of the children with wicked lies against the minister, whom they had been seeing as their mother. As if that was not bad enough, they started splashing the much money they had stolen already on the children and inciting them to wage a war against the minister. With all of this, they could not get the real children to fight the minister. So it was now time to hire adult rebels from the jungle and present them as children fighting with the minister. In no time, the minister realised that the new war on her was not launched by children but adult junglers disguising as children. Being the smartest minister she was with all the medication in her possession for all classes of people, she activated the injection meant for adults disguising as children.
According to her, children should be treated like children and junglers should be accorded jungle treatment. The first four junglers that faced the minister never forgot the reaction from her team for the rest of their sorry lives. They received proper jungle treatment.
Then now came a very big jungler with a bloated abdomen awaiting surgery to lead the fight. As ugly as he was, he shot himself on the head even before the fight begun. He was arrested, charged to court and jailed for the rest of his life for abusive language, riotous conduct, threatening remarks, attempted murder and libel. His on episode was actually the shortest in the whole drama.
By this time, everybody was now able to separate the children from the rebels, as all the children visited the minister and partied with her. What a perfect example of a happy ending story.
© Copyright by Awareness Times
Newspaper in Freetown, Sierra Leone.