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24 Garrison Street,
Freetown,
Sierra Leone.
Tel: +232-30-321001
Tel: +232-77-321001
Tel: +232-76-622501
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SATIRE  

A Confused, Manic-Depressive Letter to the Chief Justice of Sierra Leone
By Mr. A.B.C.D. Williams (Kissy Dockyard)
May 4, 2007, 20:20
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Dear Editor (indirectly [Lord] Chief Justice),

I am too much of a coward to directly face you like a man. I am such a slimy worm that I cannot even address my usual anonymous writings/letters to you directly. So, like the yellow-bellied coward that I am, I am going to shamelessly write to you through another medium, entitle it as a LETTER TO THE EDITOR and hide my identity. You can call me Mr. A.B.C.D. Williams if you like... Williams is such a generic name and Kissy Dockyard is ...!

Just like was done the other day in Awoko Newspaper, Standard Times Newspaper and others, (where one supposedly was writing to the Editor and halfway through, one forgot one was supposed to be addressing an Editor and instead started to vilely and most idiotically address you as the recipient), I am going to start off my letter to you addressed to the Editor of this medium but then since I am still in a daze as to how you effectively dismantled some recent stupid ramblings by one fellow; somewhere halfway through this letter, I am going to forget that I am supposed to be writing to the editor of a newspaper house and start addressing you directly with ill-concealed venom and malice borne out of my longtime jealousy and envy of you.

Please forgive me if somewhere in this letter, I start referring to myself in the Third Person as I am in a totally confused state of mind.

Now, recently just a few days ago, one "famous", well-publicised, "popular", media-loving, "human rights" lawyer named Jenkins Johnston wrote a letter to you which he sent all around the world. In that letter, he referred to you as "My Lord Chief Justice" and that letter was published in local newspapers and worldwide through the Internet.

Chief Justice, one did not see anything wrong with that manner in which this "great" and "clever" and "brilliant" and "fine" and "excellent" "social commentator" addressed you as his Lord Chief Justice but suddenly one has problems in that confused and idiotic letter one cowardly sent to you anonymously in which one expressed "mundane" concern over the Awareness Times Newspaper referring to you as the Lord Chief Justice when in fact you are not the Lord Chief Justice as only the British have the right to prefix their own Chief Justice with the Lord terminology. You see my pitiful colonial mentality is still upon me; poor African fool that I am!

Talking about Awareness Times, some people are rumouring around town that the reason why I had to slyly insert that innuendo about your "friend" at Awareness Times and specifically identify your "friend" as a "her" is because I am at a loss as to how to handle that 33 paragraphed pleading and so I want to whip up public sentiments against a female citizens innate right to the justice that is being pled for in those 33 paragraphs. If I tell the public that she is a "close friend" of the Chief Justice and with the use of quotation marks around the word FRIEND, imply an untoward friendship between that "friend" and yourself, then half my legal work is done. I say this because anything that is thence legally done to my client(s) might be perceived to be an injustice being perpetrated for a "female friend" of the Chief Justice.

Aha! Now you are beginning to understand why one wrote that PERCEPTION is EVERYTHING? Perception can be rendered through Cheap Publicity via unscrupulous media personnel. Cheap Publicity is the way to get evil inspired perception even when such perception is wrong, wrong and very wrong! Who cares if the public is deceived with wrong perception? As long as I get my selfish way! Thats my social commentator mantra you know.

I know very well that my innuendo against the poor lady at Awareness Times is ill-deserved, base, vile and so untrue but I am desperate. And desperate men undertake vile actions that debase themselves. However, I am not sure if that strategy will work as that Awareness Times lady is such a tough nut to crack but we are desperate to bring her down. My other mediaman at that ragsheet likes to say that like Condoleeza Rice, she is not married and is childless. Like Condoleeza Rice, she is a tough nut to crack

Anyway, My Lord Chief Justice (oh! Sorry, My Plain Chief Justice, I forget that you are not a Lord as I am so confused these days!), I want to confess that apart from the Awareness Times case, why I also wrote that letter to you which I disguisedly sent as a letter to the editor is because I am green with envy at the way you have been able to excel at the Judiciary just as you also excelled in private practice over the likes of me.

Therefore, I am mad, mad, mad at you because you seem to command the respect of the powers that be, the respect of the international donor community as well as the respect of the true patriotic citizens and so I want to throw some sand-sand in your garri. Imagine that even after all the hullabaloo we raised about the short-term judges, the international community turned their noses at us and contemptuously ignored our ramblings.

And this same international donor community is withholding funds to other institutions in Sierra Leone citing serious leadership concerns but yet still they keep on generously funding the Judiciary headed by you as a sign of their continuing confidence in you. Why always you? Why should you always be respected and hailed whilst we have to watch from the unrecognized sidelines? Are you a magician? Are you a wizard? How are you able to always excel? Why cant we also enjoy like you?

Plain Chief Justice, your success in the private practice and again in public service is exemplary. A rotten judiciary is being surely rebuilt and the international community has such confidence in your leadership at doing this. I cannot stomach it. I am running crazy amok with envy and malice.

I started off that my other confused letter by attacking you for not responding to my previous rubbish and in the middle of the self-same letter I attack you for responding to some other similar rubbish that deprecated you. I am really a confused writer which is why I am now a LAUGHING STOCK.

Anyway, to end this ramble of a rambling letter, let me assure you that although I am too cowardly to say so to you directly, deep inside me, I admire your skills and your God given success and I wish I was you. Oh, how I wish I could be you!

Tell me, how were you able to rise to the top of all of us in the private practice? A local newspaper recently published that you graduated top of your class in London beating every other lawyer from the entire Commonwealth. Is that true? If so, we should not be surprised at your successes but I still wonder (collay) at your successful career.

Look at how you have started to re-build the Judiciary. How have you been able to actually get the Judiciary functioning once again as a national entity? Sierra Leone now has magistrates in circuit in all the various districts and High Court Judges in all the big provincial towns.

However, there are still serious problems in the judiciary that you inherited. For example, recently a barrister reportedly compromised a Magistrate Clerk/Registrar with excess alcohol and this Clerk became too drunk to realize that a whole court file was taken from his possession at the time the case was called up.

The other time, another Barrister knowingly submitted to the Courts a FALSE AFFIDAVIT on behalf of his client and fooled a very senior Magistrate into signing an arrest warrant for a distinguished female citizen.

Another time, a Barrister connived with his client to escape from remand custody and pleaded as defence that his client was confused (We are all confused people in our GANG!). These are some of the problems in the Judiciary that you inherited and which you have to grapple with.

I pray for the Almighty to grant you the strength to deal with all these monumental problems especially with the likes of Barristers as I have highlighted But let me stop here before I mistakenly reveal the identity of the barrister(s) who did the aforementioned highlighted dirty deeds that bring the judiciary into disrepute.

Until I write again to make an even further mockery of myself,
I remain, Yours truly,
Mr. A.B.C.D. Williams (Kissy Dockyard)


© Copyright by Awareness Times Newspaper in Freetown, Sierra Leone.

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