From Awareness Times Newspaper in Freetown

SATIRE
‘Truly Exceptional’American-Admired Actions
By
May 17, 2010, 14:06

We today list a few of the actions that American Embassy in Freetown has endorsed as "truly exceptional", ‘tireless’ acts of excellence, ‘dedication’ & ‘integrity’ in the face of ‘challenges’:

1. Resign your job abruptly
without undertaking to do any formal handing-over notes and with NO NOTICE so as to ensure maximum chaos in the ensuing vacuum caused by your refusal to formally hand-over your sensitive office.

2. Stay SILENT in the face of increasing controversy that follows your resignation thus fuelling all kinds of speculations to emerge, since nature abhors a vacuum. The end-result is that with such fierce speculations involving character analysis content, very few persons will wish to step into your shoes! Thus any possible mission to create a vacuum in the fight against corruption from now until 2012 Elections is fulfilled!

3. Instruct for National Revenue Boss to be suspended pending investigations into unproven allegations that he is corrupt but a good five months later, abruptly quit without filing charges or clearing the NRA Boss’ name. You take note that NRA Boss had been proving to be recalcitrant towards DFID’s questionable antics that mis-managed procurement of vehicles and air-conditioners and which might be a sign of worrying fiscal impropriety in upcoming management of a proposed 16 million pounds to be ‘chopped’ between now and 2012 Elections.

4. Ignore all corruption claims brought to your attention by members of the Opposition Party whilst telling your unscrupulous journalist ‘professor’ that the Opposition Leader was not the one who gave you a job so he can’t expect you to jump and act when he brings outright corruption to your notice. Conveniently forget that all citizens have the right to bring such to your attention.

5. Cut shady deals with white Lebanese merchants and set them scot-free but ensure you drag a black Sierra Leonean Magistrate Fisher and two black High Court Judges, Alusine Sesay and Allan Hallway to court to be properly disgraced. Disgrace them even if you cannot produce one single witness for almost two years now.

6. Do not explain how the shady deals were cut with the Lebanese merchants but simply announce that you have ‘recovered’ moneys here and there. Expect everyone to clap because they are all stupid and you are clever. So, no need to tell the stupid public anything about those backroom deals with the Lebanese that lined some legal pockets (Yours? Who knows!). Just announce you ‘recovered’ over one billion.

7. Before you leave, file series of flimsy charges against a woman considered by Big Boss to be ‘over-ambitious’ but first she gets presented to Public as a ‘sacred cow’ when in reality she is nothing but a bloody scapegoat to be used by you to shore up the Big Boss’ credentials. Quit in the middle of that flimsy trial put on file and/or suspended/dismissed but not before you whisper into a few gullible ears within the Opposition about Shhh! Shhh!... political interference – no evidence needed to back up the claims! Whisper it INFORMALLY to silly local journalists also but then go on record FORMALLY to IPS international news outlet with the exact opposite information that in fact, no one interferes in your work or tells you what to do! So, if the gullible few Journalists and/or Opposition naive knaves repeat the Shhh... Shhh... whispers, they will look foolish as all evidence will point otherwise. End-effect is it helps to make Opposition loses credibility by 2012; all this whilst you keep a golden silence!

8. Lay back and chill out knowing that you and your ruling party Boss have accomplished your mission; because in the ensuing chaos of your resignation with no notice or formal handing-over, there is no way any cogent or sober corruption agenda can be undertaken between now and 2012 Elections. So, it is now Looting Unlimited between now and 2012 Elections; courtesy of your abrupt chaotic resignation.

9. Blame the Media for exposing the alarming abuses of your authority and questionable actions against the poor scapegoat woman who needed to be put under control by the Big Boss for being too over-ambitious. Who cares if her husband & family get molested?

10. No need to worry that your abhorrent actions might be reprehensible to many and produce strong criticisms because, afterall, you know the American Embassy will be issuing an undeserved pat on the back for your actions as it all helps to sustain the Regime Change agenda that MUST continue beyond 2012.

NB:- Of some surprise though is that the British DFID guys have not issued any such pat on the back for you. Whilst they will continue to fund your former office, not a single word of praise has been uttered for your reprehensible conduct that those shameless Americans are cheering on as ‘truly exceptional’. Are the British suddenly developing some morals in the way they treat Sierra Leone? The Labour to Conservative switch might have good outcomes afterall – British morals might be coming back - at least here in DFID Sierra Leone!



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